I wanted to write this blog for people like me, who believe we are free thinkers and not be tethered (by tradition or societal standards), but at the same time have learned to function and even excel in the rigid environment. You have become the well organized, responsible… go to person. The responsible friend & family member. The one everyone can lean on. If thats not you…then you are more than likely being lifted by this person. You know who they are. And we believe that we were born into this role. but usually thats not the case. usually what happened is that you were forced or set up to become this way for multiple reasons.

No one is born responsible. do not let anyone tell you this. you were not just “so mature for your age.” This is something adults say to lessen the blow on neglecting a certain child’s needs, because it does not include basic survival. Now do not get me wrong, there are some children who crave independence and want to figure out tasks out alone, but are not responsible enough to care for themselves or others? This comes with being given challenges (usually not age appropriate) by those around them, that forces them to become responsible, hyperaware and hyper-independent.

When a child or adult realizes no one is coming to save them…they learn to tie their own cape. The issue with this is that now, others see the cape… and want you to save them. They feel the cape equips you to deal with and help carry their burdens. This may not always be physical help either. It can be medical, financial, emotional or social burdens, they place in your lap; hoping you will repair the damage and return it once functional to their liking. If you are so good at solving your own problems. you may have the strength to help carry theirs.

The issue is that no one sees your issues and sometimes you do not have any on the scale or magnitude of your family and peers so you feel as though you can lend yourself to them. But the more you assist, the more issues you find yourself facing.